The Girl from Berlin: War Criminal's Widow Read online

  Ernst shook his head and drank more.

  “They didn’t take anything from us,” Heinrich said quietly. “It was their money, they earned it. They’re just very hardworking.”

  “Yes, of course, now I understand that. Now I think many people understand that. But back then we were all very hungry and very angry. And that’s what happened. They taught us to hate the whole nation, can you imagine? And many of us only knew the Jews from Der Stürmer caricatures. How ridiculous is that?”

  “And now you’re having a child with a Jewish girl.”

  I never expected such frankness from Heinrich’s side, but I guess that alcohol erases many borders. They decided to be honest with each other and finally speak of what they’d never spoken of before.

  “You’re having a child with her. You’re the one who’s married to her. I’ll be lucky if one day she tells the kid my name.”

  Heinrich paused for a moment, sighed and said very slowly, “She loves you very much, you know.”

  “She doesn’t love me like she loves you. If she did, she’d have left you a long time ago.”

  “You never asked her to, did you? I mean really asked her.”

  Ernst was biting his nail and frowning.

  “I never will,” he finally replied. “I know that she’ll say no anyway.”

  “Well, maybe she won’t.”

  “What, are you trying to get rid of your wife?” Ernst tried to joke. Heinrich smiled.

  “No. I just want her to be happy, that’s all. And I know that she won’t be happy without you.”

  “You’re a very good man, Friedmann. No matter how much I hate to admit it.”

  Ernst extended his hand to him, and Heinrich shook it after a moment’s hesitation.

  “Thank you…sir.”

  “Our situation is a little too fucked up for you to address me ‘sir,’ don’t you think?” Ernst smirked. “Call me Ernst.”

  “Alright. Ernst,” Heinrich chuckled too, and they slightly toasted their bottles and each took another big sip.

  “I’m sorry about everything,” the Austrian said mildly. “I shouldn’t have started it with your wife.”

  “It’s not only your fault.”

  “Oh yes, it is. She was always faithful to you. I kept going after her, but she’d push me away every single time. I forced her into all this. It is absolutely my fault, and I’m sorry.”

  “Are you really?”

  “Sorry for what I did to the two of you, yes.”

  “But not for you and her.”

  “No. Not at all. She’s the best and the worst thing that ever happened to me.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “I never loved anyone in my life. Ever. I had hundreds of women probably, two or three at a time, in every city. And I didn’t care for them, they were just one of the pleasures of my life, like alcohol or fancy cars, or money… It’s like, you enjoy it, but you don’t love it, you understand? I didn’t love them, they were there for my pleasure, that’s it. And when I’d get tired of them, I’d move to another one, then another. I didn’t even remember their names sometimes…”

  “What about your wife?”

  “What about her? It was time to get married and have children, and she was a member of the Party, we had similar views… So I married her.”

  “That’s not how you marry somebody,” Heinrich laughed quietly. “You marry somebody because you love them, not because you belong to the same Party.”

  “No shit, smartass! Where were you ten years ago?”

  They both laughed and went quiet for a minute.

  “And what happened when you met Annalise?”

  “What happened? Nothing happened. I thought that she was very pretty. I thought that I should come back to Berlin and find her. I never thought I’d find her in the Gestapo jail.”

  A loud explosion made Ernst look up.

  “She told me that you were very nice to her during the interrogation.” It seemed like Heinrich wanted to hear the rest of the story.

  “I guess I was, I don’t know. When I first saw her there, I thought, what a chance! And then she looked at me with those big eyes full of terror and… I can’t even explain the feeling that I had. I just never wanted her to look at me like that ever again. She was such a tiny little girl, shivering, afraid… I didn’t know what to do, for the first time in my life. I gave her my jacket, and then she looked up at me, differently this time, with hope, like you look at someone very powerful who can protect you. I liked that second look much better. And I decided to help her.”

  “Thank you,” Heinrich said softly.

  “Yeah… I didn’t know what I was getting myself into though.” Ernst drank more from his bottle. “After that time I had to be that ‘good guy’ she thought I was, when in reality I was everything but. But I liked that she was thinking of me so highly. She was very different from other women. She was relentlessly trying to make me a better man. I don’t even understand why.”

  “That’s how she, Annalise, is. She sees only good in people.”

  “There is no good in me.”

  “Of course there is. She would never fall in love with someone evil. And you’re not evil, you’re just…” Heinrich sighed and shook his head with a smile. “You just drink too much and sleep with other people’s wives. But you’re not a bad man.”

  “I appreciate you saying that,” Ernst said.

  “I didn’t think that you really loved her at first.”

  “I didn’t think so either. Women always loved me.” He suddenly laughed. “I would take them out on a date and they’d be all over me on the way back home already. I got used to that. Not a single one ever said no to me, and I’m not bragging. And then she politely told me no. And the second time, and the third. She awoke a hunter in me, I made it a question of principle to make her mine. I was never as charming with anybody as I was with her. I knew that she liked me, I could tell, but she still wouldn’t give up. I hated her because I started to constantly think about her and only her. It became an obsession of some sort. I never wanted anyone in my life so much. It was a very selfish thing to do, but I just needed to get her out of my system so to say. You know how we, men, think: you’ll stop thinking about that girl right after you sleep with her. It’s done, over with, it’s not interesting anymore, you can move on. But that’s not what happened with her. With her… it all got even worse. I couldn’t even look at other women after that. She made me feel so strong and so weak at the same time. She got me addicted worse than all the alcohol in the world would. You know, before I thought that I was blessed because I never loved anyone and therefore never suffered. And now I think I’m blessed because I finally met someone who made me feel, really feel, for the first time in my life. God punished me for all those women I made suffer before, because the one that I love would never be mine. I thought that if I’d get her pregnant she’d finally leave you. Or you’d leave her. I should have never done that. I should have known. I’m sorry, Heinrich. I really am.”

  “I know.”

  All of a sudden Heinrich put his bottle down and put his arm around Ernst.

  “I said you were a good man, but I don’t like you that way, Friedmann.”

  “Shut up, I don’t like you either.” Heinrich laughed but didn’t let go. “It’s freezing in here, and you’re shivering already. If we want to survive this night, we’ll have to stay as close to each other as possible. That’s what they taught us in the army, about the body heat. On a cold night when we had to sleep in tents, we’d sleep back to back, that’s the only way you can stay warm.”

  “Do you suggest we lay down?”

  “Do you suggest we stay in the seated position all night? I already can’t feel my back or my legs.”

  “Me neither. Alright, let’s lay down, but if you tell somebody in the office, I swear I’ll shoot you in the face!”

  “You’re not the kind of person I’d brag about sleeping next to.”

  I tried not t
o give myself up by laughing as they were trying to get themselves comfortable on a wooden chest much too small for the two very big men, exchanging jokes and the most daring suggestions what the police would say, if one of the bombs destroyed the house together with the basement and they found them two next to each other. Finally they wished each other goodnight and in less than a minute both started snoring quietly; probably all that brandy and the long talk got to them after all.

  I was watching the two men sleep from under my blankets when I felt something very strange, something that I’d never felt before in my life: someone softly brushed me from the inside, so gently that I froze for a second, mesmerized by the sensation. My baby was moving inside, I realized, and I pressed both hands to my belly. Ursula was right when she told me that it was the best feeling a woman can ever experience in her life.

  “My baby…” I whispered and gently hugged my belly with my arms. I’d never felt love, such overpowering and overwhelming love before, it was pure ecstasy radiating from that spot where the tiny little person had just brushed my hand, and all that war, deaths, artillery and the explosions on top didn’t matter anymore.

  Chapter 7

  “I had to see it to believe it!” Otto exclaimed, observing us having breakfast on a Sunday morning. He just came back from Austria and right away went to see his best friend.

  “Elke, what did I tell you about letting just about anyone inside the house without permission?” Ernst addressed his housekeeper without taking his eyes off his plate.

  Elke however, who I never saw smiling, just moved her eyebrows, clearly not following the joke. Otto stood at the doors, looking very amused.

  “You all live together now? I’m not quite sure that it’s even legal, but personally I like the idea,” The Austrian continued and let Rolf sniff his boots.

  We were lucky to have both our dogs back, who as everyone had predicted, had returned several days later to where their house used to stand and were picked up by the police. Magda was also alive but had some serious injuries and was still at the hospital, where we visited her a couple of times.

  “Otto, why don’t you sit your ass down and get yourself busy with food?” Ernst finally turned to him.

  “Food? Sure!”

  I smirked. Ernst knew exactly how to switch the attention of his prying friend. But with Otto around the peaceful breakfast just didn’t happen.

  “I have one last question though,” he said, with a hearty appetite stuffing his mouth with omelet that Elke had served to him. “How do you, people, sleep? All together, or…”

  Heinrich almost choked after that straightforward question, while Ernst, who was used to the Austrian humor, just gave Otto a murderous look.

  “No, Otto.” I smiled as sweetly as I could. “As a matter of fact, I sleep alone and these two sleep together.”

  It was Otto’s turn to choke. Ernst burst into laughter and Heinrich put his fork away and covered his eyes with his hand.

  “You promised that you would never tell anyone,” he pronounced slowly and in a grave tone.

  He was referring to the morning after the night that we spent in the basement, when they woke up to find me standing over them with a tender emotion on my face: I couldn’t help it, they looked too adorable cuddling each other. Of course they did it involuntarily in their sleep because it was terribly cold in there and they drank a lot, but in the morning and already sober they jumped almost ten feet away from each other and made me swear that I’d never tell anyone. Otto, however, misinterpreted Heinrich’s last phrase a little differently.

  “Alright… I’m not sure what the hell is going on here anymore with all of you sick people, and I definitely don’t want to go into details.”

  Ernst decided to make everything worse of course and gently patted Otto on his shoulder.

  “Aww, don’t get upset! It was a one-time thing and didn’t mean anything. You’re still my favorite.”

  “Please, don’t touch me.” Otto moved away from his hand with the most disturbed expression on his face, which made Ernst laugh even harder.

  “So what’s the news from Austria?” Ernst decided to go back to business matters.

  “Not as interesting as from your household, but… still something. The fortification of the future residence for the Führer, if he chooses to move his headquarters over there, is going full speed, just like the construction of the temporary storage for all the art pieces for the future Führer’s museum. If it’s going to be ever built at all.”

  “Have you started bringing art collections over there yet?”

  “Yes, little by little. With the speed the Allies are moving from the West it’s a necessary thing to do, to evacuate it all before it gets destroyed by bombings and artillery. There are some priceless items on the list, I looked it through and… it’s worth hundreds of millions, the whole collection. Even if we, I hate to say it, but as a soldier I realize that it’s quite a possibility that we lose the war, we can smuggle it all on U-boats someplace warm and hospitable like South America, sell it on the black market and start building the new Reich, with new funding and on the new territory.”

  “Something tells me that you already have a place prepared?” Ernst raised an eyebrow at his friend and grinned at him.

  “As a matter of fact, yes, I do,” Otto answered proudly. “You told me to start working on a backup plan, and I’m following your order.”

  “Good. Because we need one. We really need one.”

  _______________

  Zurich, December 1944

  The American opened the door of his hotel suite and quickly glanced behind my back making sure that I came alone. I told my driver to wait for me downstairs in the lobby after he helped me bring two big suitcases to the counterintelligence agent’s door. Florin, the name I knew him under, looked at the suitcases inquisitively.

  “Could you bring them in, please?” I asked him instead of greeting. “I can’t lift heavy things.”

  “Of course. Please, come in.”

  Florin let me in and brought both suitcases inside.

  “Good to see you again, Mrs. Friedmann.” We shook hands. “I didn’t expect that you’d ask for a meeting through your people in Berlin. I assume it’s something important? Rudolf told me that you wanted to speak in private.”

  “Yes. But open the suitcases first.”

  The American frowned slightly but picked up one of the suitcases, placed it on the table and opened it. The expression of his face quickly transformed from puzzled to shocked.

  “It’s impossible…” he hardly whispered and picked up one of the money stacks from the inside.

  “As you can see it’s very much possible. And very real.” I slightly brushed counterfeit American dollars packed in the suitcase with my fingertips.

  He took out one of the twenty dollar bills out of the stack, took one from his wallet, went by the window and placed the two bills next to each other inspecting them closely. He was rubbing the paper between his fingers, smelling the paint and even bringing both twenties to the light.

  “Hold on, which one was mine?” he finally mumbled inaudibly after several minutes.

  “You’ll never find out now. Last week I took two suitcases as a test to the bank and they couldn’t tell the difference.”

  “So they finally succeeded.” Florin nodded several times, biting his lip and then took a deep breath regaining his composure. “What do you need from me though? Just wanted to show me the money?”

  “No. It’s yours. You can keep it all.”

  The disbelief reflected on his face, but just for a second.

  “I understand that it’s not a gesture of good will, right? You want something in return.”

  “Yes, I do.” I sat on the chair and thought of how to start such a conversation, one that was very important for me. “I came to ask you for a favor.”

  “Must be a big favor.” The American nodded at the suitcases full of money.

  “It is.” I shifted in
my seat. “My husband told me that your office offered him a position after the war is over and also promised to take care of our new identities.”

  “That offer is still in power. There won’t be any problems for you two, your safety is already secured and guaranteed.”

  “Thank you, I appreciate it.” I smiled at him and looked away again. “But it’s not what I’m here for. I came to ask you to speak with your superiors about Dr. Kaltenbrunner.”

  “Ah, here comes the big favor.” Florin smiled. “What about him?”

  “Could you ask your superiors if something can be done for him?” I started slowly. “You know, after the war. If they could possibly… help him out like they helped us out?”

  “Mrs. Friedmann, I don’t want to give you any false hope. I can tell you right away that there is absolutely nothing that can be done for him. And I can guarantee you one hundred percent that it will be my superiors’ answer. I’m sorry that you had to come such a long way to hear this, but... He’s the Chief of the RSHA, you understand? He’s the Chief of the Gestapo, who Müller is reporting to. He’s in charge of the Einsatzgruppen, which exterminated hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians on the occupied territories. All the protective custody orders are bearing his signature. Do you seriously think that my government would want to help him?”

  “It’s not him, it’s all Reichsführer Himmler’s orders. He just has to sign them because according to the subordination they fall under his responsibility. He doesn’t even sign most of them, his adjutant stamps them with the facsimile. He doesn’t even know of half of those orders! Sometimes Müller comes with a paper and if Dr. Kaltenbrunner is not in his office, he makes Georg stamp it in his absence—”

  “Mrs. Friedmann, I don’t want to go into details of your working routine in the RSHA, I’m merely saying that as the Chief of such an organization he’s responsible for all the crimes committed.”

  “But he didn’t even want to take that position! He was given a military order! What would you do if you had to choose between following an order and getting executed for treason together with your closest family members?”